Reduce your sperm count with cell phones

That last thing any man needs is accidentally getting a woman pregnant.  The good news is that modern research is showing men can become infertile with their frequent cell phone use.  The radiation coming and going from the cell phone will reduce the healthy sperm count of men.  Some fear mongering journalists have hypothesized the radiation can also cause different forms of cancer, but that's simply absurd.  More good news is that men no longer need to wear uncomfortable condoms on the plump snake as long as they keep their cell phones stay close to the groin area.